I have never been one of those who would categorize well under ‘marriage enthusiasts’. Whether as a kid, or a budding teenager, I have not been fond of attending others’ marriages. If I were still coerced to attend one, the only possible silver lining I would look up to is the mehndi. Needless to say, I am a mehndi fanatic; I totally love having it on my hands, and given the atmosphere, there definitely would be someone amongst the crowd who would sit with heaps of cones just waiting for hands to pour out in front of them.
Anyways, coming back to the point. It doesn’t seem like a big deal to me, when two people decide to get married. For all I know and understand about the ‘concept’ of this institution — I do feel happy for them, although the happiness is simply for the fact that the two have made a mutually conscious decision to stick around for each other, lifelong. That’s wonderful. But I simply fail to understand the obligation of ‘preparing’ for a marriage. If it’s a friend or a person whom you get along with really well or are close to, they would not only make it to the marriage, but would be content with the simple fact that they were able to do so, no matter what the circumstances. They would, in most possibilities, not expect anything further. Simply, and logically, if I were to look at the ‘concept’ of marriage — two people who either love each other or meet each other for the first time and speak for a while to get acquainted, decide to spend the rest of their lives growing old with each other ‘legally’. Period. Right?
Two people -> Decide to get married -> Awesome -> Best wishes -> Chapter closed
I fail to cope up with the gung-ho that goes on in the two parent families when they have a wedding due. How does it matter, what, as a family, we manage to do or fail to do in time for the wedding, as long as we have the assurance that the couple is going to keep happy and content tomorrow? After all, isn’t that one of the significant pillars for a marriage to last? A wedding is planned in advance, primarily while taking into consideration the date and time that is required by the families to ‘prepare’ for it. It could range between today and a month, or two, or several. The basics such as the venue, the bride’s and groom’s attires, catering, accommodation — to this point, it all seems fine and agreeable. However, things such as buying stuff for relatives of varying categories [close, not-so-close, distant, elders, as a sign of respect, etcetera], return gifts for those who’d travel however far and wide just to witness the marriage, items for the priest and his company who conduct the rituals on the day, the set of utensils and crockery, and what else not – is it all really needed? At the end of it all, what if, there is barely any sense of understanding between the newly-married couple? What if, their wavelength interchange is such that it doesn’t even allow them to carry a conversation beyond five minutes? Further worse, what if there is no wavelength at all? What if, they fail to understand each other as a person, and respect and make space for each other’s needs? In such cases, how do those months of planning help?
Why don’t you help me throw some light on it?